Thursday, March 7, 2013

Sharing sucks

As a mom, I'm supposed to teach my children to share with one another. But let's be honest. Sharing sucks. But I'm not talking about sharing toys or dessert or time on the swings. I don't mind sharing those things, especially if I like who I am sharing with. I don't like sharing my time with S. Especially sharing it with someone(s) I DON'T like.

Backstory told quick: I got pregnant with S when I was 17. I had her when I was 18. Her father and I got married and then got divorced when S was 18 months old. While The General is not S's bio dad, she does consider him Daddy since he has been around since she was almost 2 years old (so the past 6 years aka the the majority of her life).

Her bio father and I do NOT get along. Not even a little bit. Like he refuses to even speak to me. All communication is done via text or email, and the tone is not ever polite. But, he's still around regardless of our communication and ability to get along with one another. Which means that I have to share. And since I live in Houston and he lives in, Oklahoma (or maybe back in Colorado-who knows?!) the time to share has arrived with Spring Break.

We used to live close enough to one another that he had her 2 out of 3 weekends and we shared time in the summer. But since moving to Houston, that has obviously changed. And we had to go to court to change it. Talk about a stressful ordeal. Anywho- with the distance between us now, the schedule is that she lives with me during the school year and goes with him during all week long breaks (Thanksgiving, Spring break, etc.), we split Christmas break, and he gets her ALL summer.

Tomorrow is the last day of school before Spring Break and he's picking her up tomorrow at 4:00 pm. Just thinking about it puts a knot in my stomach. I hate that she is leaving. I know its only for a week(ish) and that she'll be home before I know it, but it still sucks. And in all fairness, I'm sure it sucks for him to not see her the whole time she's in school. But, in all honesty- I don't care. (I'm sure there are some out there who would say I'm a bitch for saying that, but again, I don't care. I understand that her relationship with her dad is important and I'm glad that she has one with him and that she loves him. That doesn't mean I like him or care about his feelings at all though.)

The bottom line is- sharing sucks. Period. I don't like it. I don't want to do it. But I have to. And I'm going to. Because I'm a bigger person than my feelings towards him. Even if its only a tiny bit bigger. And because I have to.

So! Since this was the last week she would be here before she left for her vacation to visit her other family. We have been doing some fun stuff every day after school.

Monday- We wrote inspiring/uplifting notes and stuck them on random cars at the Wal-Mart parking lot! (Note- this picture is a "re-enactment" picture. Yes- its on my car in my garage, but its a good visual for you so play pretend with me, ok?)

Some of the notes the girls shared said things like-
"Nice car!"
"Jesus loves you!"
"You are b-e-a-YOUtiful!"
"You matter."
"Smile. You never know who is falling in love with you."
"You are loved."
"Don't give up"
"Have a great day!"
"You have amazing potential"
"Don't worry. Be Happy!"
"You rock!"
"You can do it!"
"It's going to be ok!"
"You were made for this life!"

On Tuesday- We kept it simple and stayed home. Since The General is on a business trip, the driveway was completely clear so they had skateboard races (sitting on the skateboards and rolling down the driveway as fast as they could) and we colored the entire driveway with chalk. 

Wednesday- I conducted an interview with both of them (seperately) about The General. I'm going to print out their answers and frame them for his birthday next week (Crap- I still have NO IDEA what I am going to get him....he's sooooo hard to buy for! ugh!)

Here's the form I followed with the questions I asked. (I'll post their answers after I give him the gift...just in case he decides to read this....I doubt it but you never know!)
Thursday (today!)- S has requested that we go shopping at the mall. Ummm... ok! As if I have to be asked to do that twice! Haha! She has a Justice! gift card from Christmas that she hasn't spent yet, so I'm sure we will be making a stop in there. Afterwards I think we are going to go by the park and hide some Easter eggs and leave the basket with a note that says "Enjoy the egg hunt!" for whatever little kid happens to come across it. The girls will enjoy hiding the eggs (and the playing that will come afterwards) and another little kid will get to enjoy looking for them! Win-win!!

Friday- Well, Friday is the day S has to leave. :( Again, I say, sharing sucks. But! Sharing has made me realize that I need to make the most of my time with my girls now before I have to share them with their friends, and then boyfriends, and eventually (a long time from now eventually) *gulp* husbands. Doing these fun things didn't just benefit S either....Miss I and Baby A got to be involved too. So, even though sharing sucks- its given me some precious time and memories with all my girls. (And I get a trip to visit my Momma when I pick S up next week too!! Extra bonus!!!)

Do you have to share your kids with an ex? How do you make the most of your time with your kids, whether you share them or not?


21 comments:

  1. Sharing does suck! But I'm glad you are being the bigger person.

    That was such a sweet thing to do with those notes!

    Newest follower from the TGIF Bloghop!

    www.MommaCandy.com

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    1. thanks! I followed you back! Hope you enjoy my blog :)

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  2. Already a follower! Thank you for stopping by the Deezy Does It! Pimp-Out/Showcase and linking up. Did you follow the steps for the give-a-way? hehe
    XX XO,
    Deezy

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  3. Hi! I recognize you from the blogger mom's FB group I was recently added to :) I so love the look of your blog! I'm sorry you have to share your daughter with an ex who you don't get along with :( Now following you via GFC :)

    Jackie
    www.thenonmarthamomma.com

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    1. thanks!! I followed you back via GFC :)

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  4. Hi I am a new follower from Pimped out Showcase. Got your blog from my blog post you left.

    http://anonymouscricuter.blogspot.ca/

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  5. New follower from the Diary Of A Single Mother's
    Pimp-Out/Showcase post.
    <3 Pam
    http://mzlavr2.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks!! I followed you back via GFC

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  6. I have been on the search for new blogs to visit and found yours in a linky. I wanted to invite you to stop by our Sunday Collective Social Party w/Linky I hope you have time to join us. Have a great weekend, Karren

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  7. HI! I'm a new follower and found you from Deezy's blog hop.

    http://christyscraftycorner.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks for joining me! I followed you back via GFC :)

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  8. New follower here from Deezys Blog Hop.

    http://kraftykaboose.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for joining me! And congrats on making the Scraptastical Kreations team! I followed you back via GFC :)

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  9. Ugh, sucky sharing indeed! I do have to share mine, but it's local and infrequent. It must be so hard for you :( What a wonderful idea to have a special week together first! Memories you both can revisit during Spring Break :) I'm enjoying your blog, came over from the Pimp Out/Showcase Hop and am glad I did :)

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    1. Thank you :) I try to make the most of all my time with my kids, but my time with her is extra speical when she has to leave. I followed you back via GFC! Congrats on your blog nominations!!

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  10. Loving your honesty. And that you share anyway...not everyone does. ;)

    It'll be important to your daughter someday that her mom and dad (and her step-dad too) all loved her like it seems you all do. Those are memories and a foundation you're giving her that are second to none. Can't change the circumstances sometimes, but we can make the best of them.

    I'm your latest follower, visiting from the Pimp Out Showcase Blog Hop.

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    1. Thanks so much :) We do love her tons and tons! Thanks for the follow. I followed you back via GFC :)

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  11. Hi! I know I told you in my comment above that I was following via GFC, but apparently I wasn't because I just became a GFC follower. It seems like the last several people I followed GFC did not go through. Neither here nor there just wanted to let you know I nominated you for a Liebester award. Check it out....http://www.thenonmarthamomma.com/2013/03/i-was-nominated-for-another-liebster.html

    Jackie
    www.thenonmarthamomma.com

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  12. Awww....I'm sorry! That does suck!!
    Thanks for reading my rant! I'm always glad to hear from people in agreement. I feel like we're a dying breed sometimes!

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